Wow... as much as I like the overall idea, reading "Whore, virgin, wife, mother [...]" is a REALLY bad start of a list. Either find new femenine archetypes (if you actually need them to be gendered at all) or add a designer note on how do you expect them to be used I guess.
I think I understand what you mean by listing all those roles and skills but there surely is a way that to write them or at least to order them that doesn't feel that awful to the eyes.
ah, and you listed scorn twice
I'm sorry if I'm being harsh with this comment but it really struck me
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to write back with your reaction!
That list (including the order--tho thanks for spotting Scorn twice, I tried to remove repeats!) is based on the ancient Coptic Gnostic poem called Thunderperfect Mind, which you can read here: http://gnosis.org/naghamm/thunder.html
It's hard to know exactly what the ancient poet was trying to accomplish with their writing, but some interpretations suggest that the poem represents a powerful, multi-faceted goddess invoking herself. The idea that this goddess contains contradictory "good" and "bad" qualities seems to be part of the point: this powerful entity can do anything, be anything, and is perhaps above the morals or laws of the mortal realm. The original writer's inclusion of specifically gendered language seems to be doing something similar.
I say this in defense of maintaining my word choice. I'm drawing on a historic text to try to evoke a particular mood and to make a point about revenge, or rage, or power. So while I appreciate that the words might not sit well with some players, I'm going to keep the list as is.
IMO, leaving it up to the potential player to decide how they might approach that skill list is also an important, intentional choice. Along with "virgin" or "whore," how is someone going to choose to interpret "last" or "lowness"? I have no idea, and that's part of the point--what might one do with infinite power, or with contradictory powers? I want to keep the interpretation of all of those skills open-ended, since I think that might prompt self-reflection and creativity.
Though you're right re: layout, there's definitely some design wizardry skills that I don't yet have that would make it look nicer! Something to keep in mind for a revamp, if I ever do that! Though I think there is something to be said for the Text Wall Of Skills given that the character is meant to feel omnipotent and omniscient!
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Wow... as much as I like the overall idea, reading "Whore, virgin, wife, mother [...]" is a REALLY bad start of a list. Either find new femenine archetypes (if you actually need them to be gendered at all) or add a designer note on how do you expect them to be used I guess.
I think I understand what you mean by listing all those roles and skills but there surely is a way that to write them or at least to order them that doesn't feel that awful to the eyes.
ah, and you listed scorn twice
I'm sorry if I'm being harsh with this comment but it really struck me
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to write back with your reaction!
That list (including the order--tho thanks for spotting Scorn twice, I tried to remove repeats!) is based on the ancient Coptic Gnostic poem called Thunderperfect Mind, which you can read here: http://gnosis.org/naghamm/thunder.html
It's hard to know exactly what the ancient poet was trying to accomplish with their writing, but some interpretations suggest that the poem represents a powerful, multi-faceted goddess invoking herself. The idea that this goddess contains contradictory "good" and "bad" qualities seems to be part of the point: this powerful entity can do anything, be anything, and is perhaps above the morals or laws of the mortal realm. The original writer's inclusion of specifically gendered language seems to be doing something similar.
I say this in defense of maintaining my word choice. I'm drawing on a historic text to try to evoke a particular mood and to make a point about revenge, or rage, or power. So while I appreciate that the words might not sit well with some players, I'm going to keep the list as is.
IMO, leaving it up to the potential player to decide how they might approach that skill list is also an important, intentional choice. Along with "virgin" or "whore," how is someone going to choose to interpret "last" or "lowness"? I have no idea, and that's part of the point--what might one do with infinite power, or with contradictory powers? I want to keep the interpretation of all of those skills open-ended, since I think that might prompt self-reflection and creativity.
Though you're right re: layout, there's definitely some design wizardry skills that I don't yet have that would make it look nicer! Something to keep in mind for a revamp, if I ever do that! Though I think there is something to be said for the Text Wall Of Skills given that the character is meant to feel omnipotent and omniscient!
Thanks again for the feedback!
thank you for your reply, it does make more sense now.
This is very dope. Thanks for sharing!